"... awareness is a huge part of healing the cage."

Uncategorized Apr 20, 2021

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The Cage Is Automatic 

Remember the Cage? That invisible shell of aloneness, sadness, hopelessness that appears after experiencing trauma? 

Last week we talked about areas of life where you can glimpse the Cage: in emotional patterns, and in one’s relationship to their body. 

Now we’ll look at a broad feature of the Cage. 

It’s automatic.

Until we perform the work of awareness, the Cage is a step ahead of our best decisions.

 

Triggering The Cage 

It’s like the Cage has the reflexes of a peak-performance athlete. We make a move, and the Cage already has anticipated it. 

What’s that all about? 

Traumatic experience can be such an overwhelming moment that it crowds us out. 

We just can’t be present for an experience so explosive as physical or emotional abuse. The moment of abuse is instead about the perpetrator. 

Is it any surprise that we emerge from the abusive experience only to keep acting from that place where we disappeared? It requires the keenest awareness to stay conscious. It’s as demanding as finding a way to breathe underwater. 

Afterwards we’ll likely find ourselves in relationships with people who resemble our abusers: people who talk to us the same way, who ignore our needs. We might even be confused at the choice to keep that kind of company. 

But why? After all, we’ve simply opted for something familiar. Staying with something familiar, even if its the familiarity of abuse, provides a stability with which to persist living. 

And it would work fine - except there’s something missing. There’s none of our original, spontaneous, joyous essence anymore.

 

Awareness Is the Medicine 

Leave aside the idea abuse leaves a person broken. That’s not so. 

Rather, recovery is a matter of non-judgmentally leaving the Cage. 

And there’s the greatest incentive to do so: recovery of our personhood. Re-emergence into radically orgasmic aliveness! Into creating our lives again. Into the spontaneity that choice opens up. 

CLICK HERE to learn more about Creating After Abuse. 

And remember… If no one told you they loved you today I DO!

 

 

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