"It’s like you have a different set of eyes looking at you."
- Dr. Lisa Cooney
Imbalance With Food
I’ve worked with a lot of clients with eating disorders, especially the classics of bulimia and anorexia. I had symptoms and behaviors consistent with these dis-eases as well.
To rid my anger from my body, I binged and purged regularly.
To counteract that effect, I starved myself to compensate.
A vicious cycle for years.
Let’s talk about food...and love…and a new perspective…
Anorexics look like they’re starving themselves.
From working with these clients I’ve learned they’re starving themselves of life itself.
Starving themselves of friends, of nice things, of pleasure, of relationships, and yes, of course, starving themselves of food.
From what I’ve seen with clients and experienced myself, anorexia can tend to show up as an unwillingness to receive because of a belief in not deserving to receive. I would even go so far to say it is indicative of possibly hating yourself and wanting to die.
Even when you’re gifted something special like a talent or a beautiful and healthy body - not deserving. Just being is enough. Yet, with anorexia being is being invisible even to yourself.
That’s why you see a chief characteristic of anorexia is dysmorphia. Dysmorphia is when there’s a difference between perception of one’s body and reality.
Imagine looking in the mirror and seeing one’s beautiful, healthy body as flabby and out of shape. That’s dysmorphia.
It’s like you have a different set of eyes looking at you. Whose eyes are you being?
Clients I saw with bulimia seemed to be enjoying themselves!
They’d have a victory in life, and celebrate with pizza. Sounds pretty good, right?
But then they would vomit it up. Because they don’t like the way they feel, the physical discomfort of being too full, and they are overwhelmed with fear of putting on weight.
Feeling good gives way to feeling bad, like falling through a trap door.
It’s similar to anorexia, that way. In both cases there’s a problem with feeling good.
Sometimes it’s hard to accept feeling good! Taking food and using it to feel bad - that’s what we’re talking about with bulimia. It’s a way of using food to speak to what you don’t wish to acknowledge or know or feel by feeling like the feeling you don’t wish to know. The cruel joke is you live with it and know it and can’t digest it everyday. So, choice point. Get help to change it instead of helping yourself destroy you by doing what doesn’t change the behavior.
My Father, the Thinly Veiled Bulimic
My father was a bit like the anorexic/bulimic sufferer. He acted out with his money, though, giving it away just as a bulimic throws up.
He’d give someone money and say, “I want to see what you do with it!”
That’s a nice sentiment but he died with nothing, impoverished.
Was he a financial bulimic or anorexic? It’s hard to tell.
Most important is the beliefs driving all this.
There’s always a belief system pulling the levers behind the scenes. People act out in anorexia and bulimia because they started believing that they must...way ahead of time.
The belief system has something to do with
I’ve had a lot of success working with people to uncover these beliefs, including where they started. It’s usually something that comes up during childhood, but it gets locked in.
This is another way to view what’s going on. What old and outdated and likely never true beliefs are you carrying around with you?
Intimacy With Your Truth
Remember, especially if you suffer with this quiet, powerful belief in your own unworthiness - you are lovable.
All of us are.
All of us are good, and all of us deserve good. Not some! Not a little! But ALL good.
So go get on being good to you and let me know how it goes and what you did.
If no one told you that you are loved today! I love you.
Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from our team.
Don't worry, your information will not be shared.
Would you like to keep yourself in the know of all things Live Your ROAR, classes, online courses, sessions and more?