Why your past doesn't dictate your future happiness ❤

4 steps to finding freedom and leaving your story behind

The All Things Talk Therapy show on Los Angeles Talk Radio:

Most people are aware on some level that their childhood has helped shape the person they are today - for better or for worse. Drinkers, spenders, over-eaters and other over-indulgers often learned their vices from what they observed growing up. But Dr Lisa Cooney, a psychologist, counselor and Access Consciousness facilitator doesn’t believe anyone needs to stay trapped in the ‘cages’ constructed by their upbringing.

And she should know, having endured an extreme childhood situation herself.

Cooney’s chain of physical, psychological and sexual abuse began at the age of three and continued, on and off, until she was 23. If there was ever anyone who could feel justified in saying she had the right to be a total mess because of her life, it would be her. 

On the contrary, she now leads a joyous existence travelling the world, earning great money, and doing a job that brings her huge fulfillment – she helps audiences, individuals and groups get out of where they’re stuck so they can lead great lives too.

Lisa’s ‘aha’ moment came after years of going off the rails to cope with what she had endured. ‘I literally stepped out in front of a bus when I was 27, but some invisible force pulled me back.’

After this suicide attempt was thwarted, seemingly by a force greater than her, Lisa realized she didn’t want to stay trapped in her past and had every reason to live a great life.

“I know my situation is extreme, but this really applies to anyone whose current behavior is being dictated to by the events of their past: people who think they’re not worthy of finding love, people who are struggling financially, people who can’t find employment. Often, they’re trapped in a cage from an earlier time in life and they don’t realize they can actually release themselves and be free to be them.”

Dr Lisa Cooney created a 12 steps system for allowing people to get out of their cage if abuse and limitations in order to live a Radically Orgasmic Alive Reality (ROAR). In her classes, she teaches some simple and pragmatic steps to help people who feel trapped move on from their childhood, and their story, to living a life they want:

  1. Know you have choice. Sometimes it’s as simple as realizing that you have choice in every moment. 
  2. Find your own, real, voice. Don’t be the person you were when things went wrong. Do you want that person, from back then, running your life and making your decisions? Ask yourself who you are being and what lies you’re buying into in the process. Who would you be, if you didn’t have that back story?
  3. Actually, work out what you want to create for your future. Many people get so caught up in the past they forget that they deserve a great future, just like everyone else. What do you want? Who do you want to be? What are you willing to do to get it?
  4. Change your vocabulary. Eliminate words like victim or suffered and talk in more empowered terms, like a person moving forward. For example, rather than saying, “I can’t because…” rephrase this to “I don’t know how yet.” Instead of saying, “I don’t have money,” change this to, “I am an amazing creator and I can actualize financial possibilities every day!”
  5. Choose for you. Do what makes you happy and follow the joy.
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